Journals

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Today I came across a journal of mine, It was at a point in my life when I was in a dark place. I was questioning where I was in life and where I would be going. Personally, this was one of my darkest moments. I felt like I was finally figuring out who I was, and that was being taken away from me.

Now to be honest, that sounds a bit dramatic with what the actual circumstances ended up being. We moved. My little family moved into a new town in between my Freshman and Sophomore year of high school. I was being taken away from my friends, my school, my home, and I had to start all over. Now that I am a junior in college I read this and chuckle but it seems so small, so far away and yet it was completely life-altering.

At that moment, at 15, my world was ending. I was alone at a new high school and I had to share a bed with my sister. Now, If anyone knows me well, they know my sister and I are close. That few months bonded us just by being in each other’s way for a few months.

If you knew me you would also know that I found my best friend at that new high school. I was her Maid of Honor at her wedding, We roomed together in college and I constantly babysit her fur baby, (puppy) Brittany. At that high school, I become the Rally commissioner and a huge leader there for the student body. That sparked the idea that I had the skills to be an event planner, which is what I am studying to be. It was a three year process but I had no idea what was coming my way when we made that move.

I read that journal entry today where I felt hopeless and directionless. I related to it again. Right now, I do have somewhat of a direction but I am still alone. Because of that three year process, I know I became more of who I am. I would never trade back that move. It made me gain so much more than I lost.

I can honestly say that no matter how lonely I feel or how scary my big dreams get, I know this all shapes who I am becoming. There is a quote I fell in love with not to long ago. It said,

“The future lies before you, like a field of fallen snow;

be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.”

-Unknown

No matter how hard we try, the snow is going to fall and we are going to have to trudge through it. That is a fact of life. I am so grateful to have and keep journals so I can look back and relate to those moments again. I am also grateful for how far I have come. There are many more growing pains ahead, and so much more snow to tread in. But I have a small look at what my destination might be and I cannot live my life without knowing what that is.

You are not directionless, you are not hopeless, you are just treading through a rough patch of snow. You will make it out on the other side as a better person, if and only if, you pick up your feet and tread with courage.

Happy Treading My Friends!